DEMONS

Listen to this song
paying close attention to the words.
Watch out for which lines speak to you.

Pause here for a moment,
and ask yourself the following questions:

What stories are inscribed
on the pages of your book?

What silences are hidden there?

What hopes and dreams,
fears and anxieties,
are written between its lines?

Whose names can be found
between the pages?

For the next few days of this retreat,
are you willing to open its pages
to yourself and to the Lord?

Play this instrumental piece
as you reflect on these questions.

“Music When Soft Voices Die” from Unexpected Songs by Julian Lloyd Webber/John Lenehan. Released: 2006. Track 13 of 20. Genre: Classical.

Feel free to post a short prayer
or reflection below,
if you like.

Whenever you’re ready,
proceed to the next section..

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42 replies on “DEMONS”

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for softening my heart to listen for your voice again … thank you for allowing me to know you are still there .. and although I became lost .. you never left me .. no much how much I went away from you …thank you for letting me let you get near again … to want to hear your voice ..to know what is possible if I let you love me ..

Lord,

You know me more than the world knows me, and even more than I know myself . I am not who I was before, but I still am not who You want me to be. I have my demons, who may be slowly getting the best of me. And I don’t want that, Lord. Help me.

Nonetheless, I thank you for the infinite number of chances. I am not worthy, but Your grace and love shower me with hope and even prosperity.

In the next few days, please envelope me with Your presence. And may this presence shine forth in all my interactions. May Your love for me be my love for others.

Lord,

For all the rush that this world offers, may we seek to not be blinded and pressured by it, but instead be overflowed by your grace and love. Let our hearts embrace your call to holiness and enjoy this journey we are in. Help us to honor this season we are coursing through in the present moment.

Amen.

Lord, I may not know how to free myself of all these demons, these conflicts that I have within me that keep me from moving on — to being a better wife, daughter, sibling, friend, and neighbor. But please stay with me. Guide me in this journey of mine. Remain in me, and keep me beside You while I figure things out, while I slowly take those steps, and even if I stumble and fall along they way.

Dear Lord,
I know that I have “demons” inside but I believe that my light which comes from You is so much brighter and stronger. Please guide us so we may be able to share our light with one another, especially now when our world is filled with sadness and uncertainty. Amen.

Dearest Lord,
Always help us remember that we stronger than our own demons, that You are the strongest of all. That there is nothing we can’t face if You are within us. Sorry for the times we gave in to our weaknesses, but it’s always a step in bringing us closer to You and making ourselves stronger. We continue to ask you fight this Covid-19 demon incapacitating this world. You make us stronger than any virus. We are all stronger than this.

Whose names can be found between the pages?
I cannot think of anyone … despite having a partner, parents who are still alive, brothers and sisters, family, friends … it seems I have turned cold as a person. The busyness and expectation of the world … let me rephrase it, my own busyness and personal expectation of what my life ought to be has stunted the growth of my spiritual life. Stuck with religious activities rather than ensuring spiritual growth.

In my silence I see my children and my failures that shatters them because of my selfish dreams of pride. I feel my sadness and I dream anew to restore joy for my children. I pray that Jesus will be with me to guide my heart.

Lead me Lord. I follow your direction. I follow the path you have laid out for me. I have always felt your hand in every blessing I receive and every challenge I have to face. I confidently face life because I trust you. In my heart, I know that you are directing my every moment.

Sometimes there are inner voices which try to cause fear, anxiety and confusion. Lord, help me to be strong and focus on Your voice that gives me courage, peace and clarity of mind.

There are indeed times when I forget to call on the Lord during my times of need; thinking that I can do it by myself. I’ve proven it to myself over and over again that with my talents, I can persevere—thinking that He gave me these talents so it is right that I use them.

But what I forget is that even though these talents were given to me, talent without direction is useless and wasteful. And He should always be my direction. When I lose my way, I should pray that He stay beside me as I try to figure things out; I should always remember to welcome Him that He may walk with me and guide me when I’m at a loss.

Thank you, oh Lord and merciful Father for all the times your blessings and your grace have shone on my life. Forgive me for not seeing that it is through your glory that I can do the things you have set me out to do. Praise to your name, forever and always. Amen.

Almighty Father,

May you always guide and bless me to find and appreciate my inner strength and to accept my vulnerabilities and use them for my growth and well-being.

I will always remain faithful to You.

I have a million stories to tell. I have told a lot of them. Shared many of them to people. However, I have never paid attention to the silences, to the things that I have not dared to speak about.
Such as:
1. The silence of illusions – of stories that are too shameful to speak out loud, of demons that hide and do not want to be known.
2. The silence of masks and false timidity – of fears and anxieties that do not dare to speak up for fear of being found wrong, not good enough, bad or weird.
3. The silence of loneliness.
4. The silence of abuse and trauma.
5. The silence of mental and psychological problems.
6. The silence of disbelief and lack of trust.

The demons have shape-shifted but they have always been there — silent but powerful.

Dear God, I pray for your light to shine on my darkness, for your Word to speak to my heart and help me hear You instead.

Lord, I loved the song for the longest time. I knew I had a dark side and I just accepted it as part of me. A part whom I thought of just handling.
Some days ago a friend told me to search for my true self – the loving one made in God’s image. I tried looking for him and I found it deeply fossilized in a hard rock cynicsm, skeptism, and wickedness. I decided to go on retreat during the lockdown to help me free that “me” – even if it would take all the time in the world.
Then the song, Demons, which I have taken for granted as my song took a whole new different hold on me. It broke me down. I can’t recall yet, when I ever cried so hard. And I was just listening to a song I usually play in Spotify.
I found him, Lord. That sweet caring kind generous boy who loves playing. I had lost him for the longest time. He was playing by a pond in a garden then he turns around. He looks at me, not smiling in a glad way. But innocent and care free. He grabs my hand to go play more around that huge space of a garden.
The dark shadows are fading. The demons that remain are external. The boy that is now me, I hope is brave to face the world outside with the strength of kindess and honesty. It is scary for it feels like a new me. But thank you for, “showing me how.”

Lord, I pray that you silence the demon that lives in me. Make them disappear, oh Lord. May these demons be tamed so that I can fulfill my Christian obligations, oh Lord. Amen

Lord, forgive me for I am a sinner. Once I was always thinking of myself alone maybe because I grew up with so limited resources. But you blessed me with a good life. Thank you Lord for all your overflowing graces! The pages of my book are now full of love and happiness. Teach me to serve You unconditionally. Amen

Lord, calm me and my inner demons. Silence them with your gentleness and your warmth. Your presence gives me peace. Amen.

Lord God, i am a sinner who is in need of your mercy and grace. I have carried a burden ive long kept hidden but have confessed in church as well as my mother. It has never truly left me and i fear that my destination is inded hell because of it. Please help me to be reminded that you have offered yourself for the forgiveness of sins and that your love for us exceeds all our shortcomings and failures. At the same time, may this not be an incentive for me to continue living in sin but just serve as a reminder that we will at one point fall but what is important is for us to get back up on trust on you completely.

>What stories are inscribed
on the pages of your book?
Stories of how life has molded me to someone Ive never thought of myself. Doing things which I didnt expect myself to do all for one person whom I thought wont to me such thing.

What silences are hidden there?
pain and fears

Still, thank you Lord for answering my prayers especially when I cant get myself out of the situation, you do it for me. Thank you for keeping me away from harm always. Thank you for all the lessons learned. Please guide me and my family always. I also pray for the person who caused me all this pain, that someday he will realize things and be that better person he wanted.

My heart is filled beyond satisfaction with the thought and feeling of being united with You… it had been tough, but You never left me for a single second…

Lord it has always been a swing from my best to my worst… but You’re love has always been constant… i cannot ask for more.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for this opportunity to journey with You through Your passion, death and resurrection. My demons eat me up sometimes and have been during this weird time of our lives. I pray you enlighten me (and everyone here) as we survive the darknesses of our lives.

Lord, may You continue to shine Your light to us, especially during this dark times. There are many people who are suffering and losing hope, may You comfort them and give them peace in their hearts that everything will be alright. Being alone never bothers me but knowing that there are many people who are affected by this pandemic and feeling alone and depressed makes me feel uncomfortably sad.

Hear the prayers of Your people, oh Lord, and heal us from all the things that make us weak physically and spiritually. Protect us from the enemy and lead us to victory, in the name of Your son Jesus Christ, who lives with You and the Holy Spirit, ONE God FOREVER and ever. AMEN ?

Praise and Love you Jesus for the moment to read and go through the book of my life. There are pains and disappointments according to my human knowledge and understanding but there are also lots of your presence upholding and nourishing my journey. Life seems to be meaningless at times, lot of uncertainties. In all those moments of despair your promises strengthens me. Your silent disturbs me my lord. I do wonder but I trust you have a plan for me. A plan of welfare, not evil. Your grace is sufficient for me, your power is made perfect in my limitations and tribulations. I surrender my Lord. I desire to hear your whisper of love and comfort in the wind, I wish to hear your voice of consolation that soothes my ailing spirit. Love you Lord for all the opportunities that enables me experience your unconditional love for me.. answer my plea and come to uphold me.

Lord, my feeling of unworthiness always surfaces. That I don’t deserve your love and mercy. Deep down my heart I know that you are always there for me. And in fact, for all of the major problems I have encountered, you answered my prayer all the time. I need to let go and fully surrender. I am afraid that if I let go and not be bothered by my prayers requests that I am just giving my myself false hopes. Or that because I become complacent that you will take back all the blessings and help you’ve been giving me. I know you have time and again and no fail helped me and to this day, with every problem I encounter, I still doubt you. O what little faith I have. That’s why I am also asking you Lord to strengthen my faith. To help me believe. To help me fully surrender.

Never thought my life was a book. Nice idea. I would rather that it be a picture book instead of texts. 🙂

I feel that I have no story, that I am nobody. I fear that I have been making up a lie of how accomplished I feel, but deep inside I have never been good enough for myself. Lord, give me the grace to accept myself wholly, like You have always done.

You know the hidden names between the pages, people who have helped me and rescued me from the pit. My life continues with love for You alone. Though this lockdown brought a lit of stress in me, i believe i will also recieve many gifts that i could not see- gift of faith, love and peace.

This lockdown has slowed our worldly activities down to the level that we are not comfortable but to Jesus it may mean that He wants us to be silent and close to Him.

“You know my heart and it’s ways; you who formed me before I was born.” Shine the light in the deep recesses of my soul –expose those which I hide. Move me out of my stasis and lte embody the name which you gave me even when I was in my mother’s womb. Clarify to me my shape and the purpose of my shape.

“How have I been lately?” I’m not sure…reflecting on the question I realised that I live my daily life according to the what is expected of me. I have made the choice just constantly do something, maybe to keep myself busy, so I won’t have time to think about what’s happening around me. Taking this online retreat now made me realize that it’s almost a month since I’ve been home and it’s been a month of constantly meeting requirements from home. But how I’ve been. I don’t know. I’m not sure. Maybe been too busy to even ask myself this.

Dear Lord,

I fear loneliness which this quarantine has even made it hard for me to ignore. People talk about reconnecting with family and I am all alone at home.

“Is it possible that, we can live our entire life without loving anyone at all? That’s my loneliness.”

The demons lie within. No need to go out to look for them. There is always a fear of not being good enough. Not living up to be the person that God wants you to be. The anxiety of the times. The uncertainty of the future. The worst enemy is within.

Dear Lord
Thank you for allowing us to live day by day. I ask you to take away any demons we have hiding inside of us. Help us to put our trust in You. To find joy and meaning in this new life. Thank you for blessing us with a wonderful family and may all of us be protected against this pandemic and will be able to rise again. May we have a sense of renewal and be able to act accordingly unto your will.

Lord, within the silence of my heart, You know what is in the depth of my soul. Amidst all this fear, anxiety and chaos brought by Covid-19, teach our hearts, minds and soul to see and reach out to You. You are our rock, fortress and salvation. Continue to give us hope in our faith, and may we translate it into love for our brothers and sisters who are in dire need. Also, bless and guide our doctors and nurses, government officials, scientists and experts in the medical field, for them to lead us and may be able to find a cure to this contagious disease. Also, bless and guide our other frontliners, workers in the grocery, pharmacy, banks, security guards, janitors, garbage collectors, those who are vital to essential existence of the people. And we ask Your healing hand, Lord, for the world. You are the only one who can cure us, our Great Physician. Amen.

Dear Lord. Throughout my life YOU have always been there. Despite all the rough and dramatic patches, YOU have rescued me. YOU have been my salvation. Lord, let me always be grateful. Let me not be fearful. Unleash the fear and anxiety and need for self preservation so that I can do what you want me to do. Let me radiate Your love in every encounter I make with people. Help me live my life like St Thereses – in everything I do, big or small, is an offering with you. As such, I humbly ask for good health and enough resources for 20 more years so I can do what you designed me to do on earth. Remove all need for self preservation, greed and selfishness. Remove my anxiety and help me radiate love and positivity at all times.

Dear Lord,

I fall and stumble to my demons and to the unpredictible challenges of life, this could be my cross to bear but somehow You and the light in your eyes guide and bear me to bear thy cross. Thank you for your continued presence all throughout my life.

I never thought that I would be joining the online retreat again this year. I was preparing to die last year, but unfortunately, I didnt. So my fear of living continues. Yes, i have a demon inside me, i just feel that i have to die so i can be totally free of this darkeness and brokeness.

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